The journey to self-love is a long one. It’s a bridge we often hesitate to cross, sometimes we get stuck in the middle, other times we just run the hell back. Why, you may ask? Because we live in a society that projects a false image of self-love, a society which promotes vanity, sexual exploitation, a society where people hide behind filters, good lighting, best angles. We now have this messed up idea of what the ‘perfect’ woman should look like (clue, there is no such thing). Women are expected to think, act, dress in certain ways, and if we go ‘against the grain’ so to speak, or rebel against these societal views and gender stereotyping, then we are silenced by men who are intimidated by strong women.
There are men out there who appreciate a strong, independent woman. A woman, who stands her ground, who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, who requires nothing from a man because she brings everything she needs. Who is confident in herself, who is driven, ambitious and determined to succeed in life without needing a man beside her. It takes the right kind of man to love a woman like that, a man who is secure in himself, who does not feel intimidated by a woman who does not need him, but instead is man enough to know that she chooses to have him in her life. What man doesn’t want a woman like that? What woman doesn’t want to feel that way?
Love never bargains with you
There’s a feeling of liberation and empowerment when you realise you don’t need anyone to complete you, you stop seeking love and happiness outside of yourself when you understand that you are the provider of all of this. None can love you the way you deserve until you finally come to love yourself. Everything is but a reflection of your inner world, if you believe that you need someone else to fulfil you, to satisfy you, to make you happy, then you are robbing yourself of the chance of finding true love.
True love is an ever flowing stream, it fills your cup to the brim, never drowning you but always replenishing itself when you drink from it. It never runs out, it never stops, it never asks anything of you, always constant, always available to you. This love is all that there is, it’s what you are, why you’re here. You were created out of love. Nothing bad ever comes from love, you never lose out when you choose love. It is fear that keeps us from love, fear that we don’t deserve love, fear that we will lose love.
These fears, however irrational, are always justified. We must remember it is not love that causes pain, it is fear, ego. Ego will keep us apart, it will trick us into ego-driven actions, it will tell us why we are wrong to love. Love never bargains with you, it doesn’t beg or prove itself, it waits patiently for you to let it in, it is a gift not a curse.
When you learn to love yourself you are allowing true love to enter your life, you are filling your own cup, not waiting for someone else to do it for you. It is a game changer when you awaken this power within you, it’s as if a once blocked stream now flows to and through you, lighting up every inch of your body as it makes it’s journey. It is a stream that knows no end, that flows for eternity never ceasing to exist, making a constant circuit between source and you. It can only reach you when you learn to let it in, and once you do it will never fail you, or leave you not even for a moment. Not even when you make a mistake, or you fall into the trap of judging yourself. Love will never judge you.
Once you allow it into your life, the essence of all that is, all that you are, you will never go without it again. It is why you came here, to experience love in human form, to know what it means to be in a body that thinks it is separate from God, and to learn your way back to the truth, which is there is no separation.
The embodiment of the feminine
As women, when we allow this love into our lives we awaken to our true nature, there is a Goddess energy that we tap into in this moment that can change our lives. We are the divine feminine, the gateway between source and earth, we birth life, bringing souls to this world. There is no other way than through us. Think about that for a moment, when you feel powerless.
Aside from this, when we connect to our Goddess energy we become the true embodiment of the feminine. Creativity flows through us, we birth ideas, take on new projects. We learn to harness the inspiration that urges us to try something new. You may suddenly have an urge to paint or draw, to write a novel, to start a business, to clear out your home.
This energy helps you find your voice, it calls for you to speak your truth without fear of judgement or rejection. You find your passion and zest for life, adventure calls to you, you want to experience all that is now available to you. You want to conquer the world, to help other women feel the same way that you do, knowing that in doing so, they too will fill their own cups, quenching the thirst that no other cup could satisfy.
When you embrace your divine feminine energy, it affects all aspects of your life, your mind-set will change, how you view others, and most importantly, how you view yourself. You no longer entertain men who don’t see your worth, who are needy and controlling and will take everything from you giving nothing in return. You won’t settle for a relationship which does not add value to your life, why would you? When you yourself meet all your requirements for the perfect partner, you are essentially in a relationship with yourself, it is the way you love yourself that teaches others how to do the same.
It takes the right kind of man to love a strong woman, a man who doesn’t shy away from her strength and beauty, who relishes the thought of being by her side, knowing that she chose him above all others. Being a strong woman does not mean you can’t ask for help, you most certainly should, in fact, knowing when to ask for help is not a sign of weakness but strength. Strong women know when they should ask for help, and they’re not afraid to do so. They know that asking a man for help, whether it is to get something out of reach or to help you with your car or to lift something heavy – all of which I know we are capable of doing ourselves ladies, but in asking you are making room for the right man to be in your life. It is when we don’t make space for the man in our lives, when we are too focused on work or being fiercely independent that we step too much into our masculine energy – which, yes we all have both within each of us. It is when we do this that we don’t allow love into our lives. Embracing the divine feminine means you make space for love to flow into your life through all ways, including that perfect relationship – which, you deserve by the way.
As with everything in life, it’s about balance. Knowing when you’ve been in your masculine energy too much, recognising that it’s time to nurture yourself and those around you, bring in that feminine energy let it guide you. Your body always knows what it needs, just like a mother with her new-born baby, it is in our nature to know how to nurture. So listen to your body, does it need sleep? Is it hungry? Do you need to take a walk? Are you feeling inspired?
Listen to your body, that is your divine feminine talking to you, she is calling out for you to embrace her. She is the Shakti, the Goddess within us, she asks you to be confident yet humble, sexual but not promiscuous.
She is loving, gentle, brave, and free all at the same time. Speak to her, express yourself through this energy, free her. You will be freeing yourself.
Have an awesome day,